I’ve been unemployed now for a couple of months and I guess it’s been taking it’s toll on my writing.  In fact, I’ve not written much anywhere.  Lack of professional stimuli seem to fuel my writer’s block.

Anyhow, the kid is screaming so I’ve got to bail.

/bleh

I was a troubled and angry young man at the time.  My stepfather was being transferred so the whole family was moving to Italy lock, stock and barrel.  We packed up quickly and rented out the house, got on a plane and left.

It was tough being in a completely new place and not being able to speak the language.  It’s funny how the absence of something, in this case language, increases your appetite for it.  We were thrilled to discovered that the local university played English/American movies for their English curriculum.  I’d love to discuss some of those incredibly inane movies but that’s another blog post.

Being that troubled young man I spent quite a bit of time, prior to our move, listening to cassettes.  Cassettes were my escape when the joys of familial participation weren’t enough to fulfill my angst ridden pre-teen attitude.

Since we moved so quickly I only took one of my favorite tapes with me, AC/DC’s “For Those About To Rock.  While that tape could be considered one of the best ever, it still only had 10 tracks on it.

I quickly needed more and the Italian pop scene was dominant at the time.  I wasn’t about to go down that route.

Cut to a few months into our stay and I was walking along the passaggiata (beach walkway) and saw an African man selling hand carved ebony figurines and cassette tapes.  Hungry for something new I ran home for some money.

Thankfully the guy was still hawking his wares so I dabbled through the tapes and found “Three Sides Live” and since I’m always one for a bargain I bought this double album cassette.

I couldn’t unwrap the cellophane quickly enough, forcing the small plastic box open so that I could devour it’s contents.  That same tape stayed with me for at least the next few years.  It was quite different than the American rock that I’d been accustomed to.

It wasn’t guitar heavy, but keyboard heavy.

It wasn’t about sex and drugs, it was about love, extinction and poverty.

It wasn’t a bunch of beer drinking buffoons smashing guitars, but about grown men telling stories with music.

So, with all the other changes taking place in my life at the time I was more open to understanding what I was listening to, and more importantly, changing my perceptions about who I was.

I listened to all 4 sides again and again not only because it was in English but because fueled my internal dialogue.  It inspired me to become a pianist and perceive myself as something more than I was before hearing it.  I discovered that anger wasn’t the only emotion deep inside me, but I was also sad, caring, hopeful…sounds weird, but it really made an impact.

Albums, Cassettes, and CD’s have had their day, but I still listen the Three Sides Live often.  Unfortunately the fourth “studio” side has been lost to me.  After some research I discovered that the fourth side contained different songs depending on where the cassette was released.  So, I’m still searching for my original cassette.

It’s funny looking back at that time in my life…I’m forty now and so far removed from that angry young man but these songs…these lessons take me back to a nice, comfortable place.

Just like they did back then.

Cheers!

Eric

It’s during these weird times that I’m most introspective and it’s probably for the worst.

I’m a 42 year old wondering when the adults are going to come and tell me to turn the TV off.  I don’t want to turn the TV off…so there is going to be a big fuss.

Well, funny or not it’s not good.  I feel like I’m looking for confrontation.  I’m still a bit miffed about being laid off despite my posts to the contrary.  I kept pushing my point of view because it’s something I believe in.  To see a company with the power to change lives ignore my pleas to focus on the end user was and is very frustrating.  It gives me a perverse sense of pleasure to see that the company’s stock has dropped 40% in the days since my departure.

Yeah, I know it’s not because of me but I take pride in knowing it’s because they’ve ignored the principles I’ve been pushing for the past 4 years.  Hey, I understand that I’m not the originator of the concept of developing content with the end user in mind, but it’s something that’s been lacking in our process.  I’ve been working to reintroduce that concept into the workflow, but alas, I’ve been ignored.  For a company full of people obsessed with impressing their boss I can’t imagine they’ve viewed their previous year’s work as a success.  In working so hard to make bosses happy they’ve alienated those that originally gave them success…the end user.  The project I was working on is…and WAS a mess because no one was interested in creating something that made a difference in people’s lives…it was all about monetization.

How’s that working out for you?

It also doesn’t make me happy to hear my direct superiors promoting my ideas as their own, when they shot them down when I initially proposed them.  Wasn’t good enough for you then?  That sort of action will come to light eventually and you’ll eventually be exposed.

I guess they got away with it because I’m the one unemployed but at least I’ve got some dignity.  Unfortunately dignity doesn’t pay bills.

It’s 1:24 am, goodnight.  I’ll review this in the morning and probably remove it…heh, funny how that works.

-FM

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