Discombobulated.

I didn’t get to sleep last night until about 3am so I’m a little cloudy this morning.

I’ve forgotten my wallet and I wished a co-worker “Happy Friday.” It’s Thursday.

Ominous beginnings indeed. After sitting on my roof and watching the lunar eclipse last night I plopped down in my chair, put my headphones and decided to go where “randomize” would take me. Even though I’ve got a lot on my mind I seem to be able to drop it all and focus on the individual instruments, the chord progressions or just feel the song. I’m supposed to get my keyboard back this weekend so that will be great. I’m so itching to break it again! As I stated in earlier posts I don’t think I’m going to play in 2loud2old this year. I love the music but it’s a pretty narrow scope. While playing live is truly fun, playing alone is just as satisfying for me.

invisible-man-780294.jpgI just want to get lost in something. Thinking is kind of burning me out a bit. I can’t go back, can’t go in the direction I want. Limbo…but I guess it’s an opportunity to learn more about myself. How fucking fun. In honor of my recent growing pains I broke out a few of my old Bukowski books. Charles always has a way of putting things into perspective. He speaks to every man’s base instincts and he’s brutally honest and I like that. Perhaps exorcising some demons vicariously through his words will have to be enough.

I’ve been consistently working out and eating better. Getting into shape is not a quick process but I’m starting to feel the change slowly. I’ve had to eliminate as much sugar from my diet as possible, which isn’t as hard I thought it would be. I’ve got 2 more days on this regiment and then I jack it up again, which excites me to no end. I think I’m actually starting to look a little different, which is really my goal, to reduce body fat significantly. I’ve flattened out on the weight loss curve and I seem to be stuck in the 224-226 range, which is at least 25 lbs more than I want…190-200 would be fine for me. If I get some definition or even a little muscle gain out of it then so be it.

I may be getting old…but mentally I’m 18. I can see that mentality getting me into trouble if I’m not in shape. I’m feeling energy gains from working out which will hopefully increase, which will hopefully get me out and active more often. I think I spend entirely too much time sitting on my ass doing nothing…especially on the weekend. Maybe I should plan some activity instead of working out. I’ll have to think about that…among other things.

Things will work out, they always do.

  • Alanis Morissette – Hands Clean
  • The Clash – Guns of Brixton
  • No Doubt – End it on this
  • Madness – One step beyond
  • Jamie Cullum – Back to the ground
  • Billy Joel – Streetlife Serenader
  • Foo Fighters – Weenie Beenie
  • Pearl Jam – Wishlist
  • Stone Temple Pilots – Unglued
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